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23 August 2008 @ 08:12 am
Who now can stand up to the combine forces of the Bethany types when we now include the Paul-fiend? On that note, I would recommend wide-spread panic, disarray, and maybe some cheesecake. I like a da cheesecake. And chocolate. I want some chocolate too.
I... Feel LotR pantisms coming on... Just a few.
"Smoke rises from the mountain of doom, the hour grows late, and Gandalf the Grey rides to Isengard, seeking my pants"
"...Samwise Gamgee, have you been eavesdropping?... I ain't been dropping no pants, sir, honest."
"Can you see the pants?" (Extended TTT)
"It's mine... My own... My pants..."
I'm horrible, I know.
Current Location: Home
Current Mood: busybusy
Current Music: None. lol
At this point in the proceedings, I find it necessary to inform interested parties, that, indeed, this *is* a new post. Impressed? You should be. I took time out of my incredibly other-wise pointless surfing to make a meaningful post that will hopefully affect the lives of millions. And cure cancer. That might be a nice side effect too. So, thoughts on the election. Be very serious this year. It's quite necessary for the future of our country. That being said, if on election day I'm still undecided, there's a decent chance I'm writing in Colbert. The man has what it takes. Seriously. The guy is on T.V. What else is required?*
I'm still failing at the lulz. Time to turn it up a notch.
Okay, nevermind.
I blanked.

*This is not real advice. Droideka is not to be held accountable for people that actually listen to him and vote for Colbert.
Maybe this Summer, if you peoples that might someday pay attention to this again. As it is, you get random crap I give when I'm bored and have time. Aren't I amazing?
That is too.

What are we waiting for, assembled in the forum?

The barbarians are due here today.

Why isn't anything happening in the senate?
Why do the senators sit there without legislating?

Because the barbarians are coming today.
What laws can the senators make now?
Once the barbarians are here, they'll do the legislating.

Why did our emperor get up so early,
and why is he sitting at the city's main gate
on his throne, in state, wearing the crown?

Because the barbarians are coming today
and the emperor is waiting to receive their leader.
He has even prepared a scroll to give him,
replete with titles, with imposing names.

Why have our two consuls and praetors come out today
wearing their embroidered, their scarlet togas?
Why have they put on bracelets with so many amethysts,
and rings sparkling with magnificent emeralds?
Why are they carrying elegant canes
beautifully worked in silver and gold?

Because the barbarians are coming today
and things like that dazzle the barbarians.

Why don't our distinguished orators come forward as usual
to make their speeches, say what they have to say?

Because the barbarians are coming today
and they're bored by rhetoric and public speaking.

Why this sudden restlessness, this confusion?
(How serious people's faces have become.)
Why are the streets and squares emptying so rapidly,
everyone going home so lost in thought?

Because night has fallen and the barbarians have not come.
And some who have just returned from the border say
there are no barbarians any longer.

And now, what's going to happen to us without barbarians?
They were, those people, a kind of solution.
Current Location: Home
Current Mood: tiredtired
Current Music: Breath-Breaking Benjaming
06 December 2007 @ 09:52 pm
(Email forward, one that was actually good)

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." -- Winston Churchill


"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." -- Clarence Darrow


"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." -- William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)


"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." -- Groucho Marx


"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." -- Mark Twain


"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." -- Oscar Wilde


"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend... If you have one." -- George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill...followed by Churchill's response: "Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second, if there is one." -- Winston Churchill


"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." -- Stephen Bishop


"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." -- John Bright


"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." -- Irvin S. Cobb


"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others." -- Samuel Johnson


"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." -- Paul Keating


"He had delusions of adequacy." -- Walter Kerr


"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" -- Mark Twain


"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." -- Mae West


"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." --Oscar Wilde


Lady Astor once remarked to Winston Churchill at a Dinner Party, "Winston, if you were my husband, I would poison your coffee!" Winston replied, "Madam if I were your husband I would drink it!"


Lady Astor also once remarked to Winston Churchill at a Dinner Party, "Sir Winston, you're drunk!" To which, Winston replied, "Yes, Madam, I am. And you're ugly! But in the morning, I will be sober. And you will still be ugly!"
Current Location: Home...
Current Mood: depresseddepressed
Current Music: Prayer of the Refugee-Rise Against
26 November 2007 @ 10:05 pm
First, what time is it: Monday, November 26, 2007 9:12 P.M.
 About me...
 Full name: (Secret!)

 Nicknames: Jake, Jakers, Smeg (You guys know what it stands for), the
list could take up several good sized paragraphs. The stories behind
them could be a massive essay of some sort.

 Location: Now? Home. Earlier, on the planet Siria exchanging
pleasantries with Sirian warlords.

 School: Home.

 Mascot: Easy. The Droideka.

 Eye color: Brown

 Birthday: 9/9/90
 Siblings and their names/ages: Anna, 19, Sarah, 9 until tomorrow.

 Do you want to get married: Yeah, probably, assuming I ever find a
girl that could put up with me for more than a month.

 Do you want to have kids: assuming the previous probably indeed happens,
 then yes.

 Night owl or early bird: Night Owl. Sleep evades me at every turn.

 I want to be: Dream of being: Video game designer, pro paintballer.
More likely: Computer programmer.
 I love: My friends, family, music, food, paintball, books, and
cereal. I hate to put God in these lists because to include Love
Itself in with such other insignificant loves seems to defile Him. (I
liked Zeke's answer)

 I hate: control freaks, my old Adam, legalized barbarism (by which I mean
 abortion), evangelicalism/fundamentalism as a concept (I love certain
 evangelicals and fundamentalists)
 I miss: My friends. That's about it.

 I fear: Hurting someone close to me.
 I crave:  Right now, another brownie and some more milk.

 I wonder: If I'll ever get over not sleeping well

 I regret: ... I'm not sure if there is anything I do regret enough to put here.

 When was the last time you...
 Smiled: About twenty minutes ago.

 Bought something: A few days ago. Mountain Dew.

 Danced: Several weeks ago.

 Were sarcastic: I am never sarcastic. Also, I don't lie.

 Cried: Hmmm... A few weeks ago. About the time I realized a couple of
depressed punk songs fit me all too well.

 Counted your blessings: Thanksgiving time and all, fairly recently.

Had a nightmare: The last time I dreamed. I rarely do dream, and when
I do, it's generally a nightmare.

 Last book you read: I really don't remember. It was a few weeks ago.

 Last thing you had to drink: Milk

Do You...
 Smoke: Only when I'm on fire, which has happened before.

 Do drugs:  No. I've been offered drugs before, though.

 Sleep with stuffed animals: No.
 Have a boyfriend/girlfriend: No. Although, I've been asked 14 times
in one year before.

 Believe there is life on other planets: Not really.
 Read the newspaper: Comics, electronics stores ads, and sometimes the
occasional sports section, when I feel like seeing how Da' Bears did.

 Believe in miracles: Yeah.
Consider yourself tolerant of others?: Tolerant? I guess.

 Consider love a mistake: Not at all.

 Like the taste of alcohol: I've had some good wine, and a few other
things that tasted fair, but I'd have to taste more before I said for

 Drink: Occasionally. Get drunk? Never.
Believe in astrology: I believe the practice exists. I give it no

 Believe in magic: Well, not what one would call real magic. More like
satanism and whatnot. So no.
 Believe in God:  Yes. YPray: yes.

Go to church: Yes
Have any secrets: Of course, not really interesting ones, but they do
exist. You could ask me sometime and I could spend a couple hours
trying to figure out what they are, then tell you.
Have any pets: No, but we have a dog and a couple cats.
 Go to or plan to go to collage or university: lol.
 Talk to strangers who instant message you: I think about 7 of the
people on my buddy lists I didn't know who they were at the time, so
 Wear hats?: Yes, but only cool ones. None of this trilby crap.
(Ethan's answer FTW!)
 Have any piercing: No. No. Although, I've been told I should get my
ear pierced by a few people, and join a rock band. :-P

 Least likely to respond:  hmm... dunno.really ever does respond.
 Most interested to see their response: Everyone, maybe?

 Best (boy): I consider it extremely shallow to name one best friend,
at least for someone who has as many good friends as I have. (Again,
Ethan's answer)

 Best (girl): My girlfriend would go here, if I had one. As is, see
 previous statement. (See above statement)

 You've known the least longest: Hmmm... Not sure.
 You can tell anything to: Meh. I could probably tell anything to Somm-1.
 Weirdest: oh gosh, I'm not even gonna try.
 Funniest: actually, pretty much everybody I'm sending this to is pretty
 Shyest: Ack. I'm not sure.
 Quietest: Ach. I'm not sure.

 Smartest: er... I plead the fifth.

 Coolest: Hmmm... Everyone but Aaron.
 Guy: See above
 Girl: See above two places (Heh)

 Girl: I have no intent of starting a war, sorry.

 Guy: Ew?

 Most outgoing: No idea.

 Most creative: People with imaginations (Meaning you people) make this hard.

 Annoying: Hmmm... Of people I know, in person, Somm-1 is probably the
most annoying. Although, it might be Aaron. I have to hang out with
him more to say for sure...

 Most confusing: Meh. I can't even decide who's least confusing.
 Always there for you: Hmmm... Sommy, Ethan, MooKoo, Various other
people... Although, when I'm depressed, I tend to not talk to anyone
about it anyway, so

 Most blonde at heart: Aaron.
 One who'll have the most kids: No thanks.

One who'll have the least: See above.

 Who will be your maid of honor: What?

 Who'll be your best man: No idea.

 The one you're probably gonna end up marrying: <Pulls on collar>

 What is your favorite...
 Color: Blue, but if I have to wear it, blood red.
 Number: 17
 Sport:  Paintball

 Store: Actionvillage.com

 Place to hang out: With friends, almost anywhere
 Song: It changes. Hmmm... My favorite song at the moment is probably
"Amaranth" by Nightwish.

 Stuffed animal: Rabid wolf.

Possession: No idea..
 Radio Station: Meh. No idea.
 Kind of music:  Various kinds of rock and metal. And crunk rock.

Day of the Year: Christmas. Again, get over it.

Day of the Week: Meh.
Cookie: Something with chocolate.
 Video Game: BF II (Ethan has great taste)

Cereal: Honey Bunches of Oats. Though, the commercials could be better.
 Ice Cream: Chocolate.
 Vegetable: that's like having a favorite way to die.
 Magazine: Paintball 2 Xtremes (PB2X)
 Cartoon: Zits, Calvin and Hobbes, and Dilbert
 Candy: Chocolate something or other.
 Time of the day: Sunset. I prefer it dark.
 Girls perfume: No thanks, I prefer not to answer.
 Movie: LOTR
 TV show: Stargate SG-1
 Flower: Meh. I don't know.
 Drink:  Uh, give me that Mountain Dew, I ain't playin' wit' you, you
better gimme that Mountain Dew!
 Do you prefer...
 Disney or Warner Brothers: WB
 Croutons or Bacon Bits: Croutons, because I look like a guy named crouton.
 Silver or Gold: Gold. It's shiny and yellow.

 Sunrise or Sunset: Sunset
 Coke or a fruit smoothie: Coke
 Sunshine or Rain: Clouds.
Beauty or Brains: Brains because beauty is stupid.

 Blondes or Brunettes: Meh. Do I care?

Thanksgiving or Forth of July: The Fourth. Stuff goes boom.
 Phone or Email. Phone, preferably

 Love songs or sad ballads: Sad ballads.

 Life or death: Life.

Also, if you read this, feel free to fill it out.
Current Location: Home
Current Mood: calmcalm
Current Music: Back in Blac-AC/DC
24 November 2007 @ 07:25 pm
I am writing to inform you of a gross lack of decision making ability on your part. I, for example, an incredibly good child, and as such, would deserve such present as would be given to such a great kid. These items include: A Ford Mustang. A Corvette. A Harley-Davidson motorcycle. An Alienware computer.

If I receive this stuff by December 19 of this year, I won't sue you. Fork it over.
Current Location: Home
Current Mood: bouncybouncy
Current Music: None
14 November 2007 @ 12:22 pm
Apparently the previous post regarding things about myself were not up to certain people's standards, and I have been retagged.
Since three people have tagged me, I feel it unnecessary to list them all, or at all.

Here's things you may not already know about me.

1. Despite the fact that I'm doing NaNoWriMo, I've never written more than 750 words for anything. (RECORD SMASHING FOR THE WIN!)
2. I have actually fixed computers, monitors, and an XBOX by hitting them.
3. Ibuprofen, caffeine, and sugar have no effect on me.
4. If I'm not with friends, talking to friends (Online counts as well), or doing something such as play a video game (And sometimes they don't help), sport, or forums, I'm hardly ever happy (Although, not altogether unhappy). Also, on a similar note, Seeing my friends be happy helps me, and as such, I try to make them happy. Kind of like the whole bodyguard thing, but not. Also, it seems some people seem surprised by this. Would someone tell me why, please?
5. I've never lost a game of Risk, of any of the four game types I've played.
6. I may have an ego in a few ways (I rock at Battlefront II, Age of Empires, and certain physical activities (Meaning, of course, paintball, and the maneuvers that go with it), but in almost every other way, I suck. It's the truth.
7. Contrary to popular belief, I do NOT have imaginary friends.

If I tag people, it will be later. Yeah.
Tags: ,
Current Location: Home
Current Mood: boredbored
Current Music: Boulevard of Broken Dreams-Green Day
24 October 2007 @ 07:21 pm
I was tagged in the benevolence of such a llama as the mental one.
Thusly, it would seem as I now must post seven things about me, and they're all true.

1. I'm 17 and still play with legos, like cartoons, and hate most of the stuff by Green Day.
5. (I believe the last one had four in it) I like getting away with things such as the above reason(s)
6. In the last year of my living in Alabama, I was asked out 14 times by 13 girls. After that, I don't see horrible pick-up lines the same.

That was 7. Happy now, Bob?

In other news, the fedora PWNs. It is the Jack Bauer of hats. There is no equal in hatness.
This is  most certainly true.
Current Location: Home, chocolately home
Current Music: Nemo - Nightwish
21 October 2007 @ 02:35 pm
My theme songs:
Responsibility - MxPx
"I don't want this responsibility
And don't use me because I don't agree

Why lie, do or die?
Why lie, do or?

Responsibility? What's that?
Responsibility? not quite yet
Responsibility? What's that?
I don't want to think about it; we'd be better off without it

You think I'm so simplistic
I'm onto you and your tricks

I'm still young and I'd like to stay that way
'Cause growing up won't make everything okay
I'm still young and I'd like to stay that way
I've got a voice and I've got a lot to say

Behind Closed Doors - Rise Against
Chairs thrown and tables toppled,
Hands armed with broken bottles,
Standing no chance to win but,
We're not running, we're not running.

There's a point I think we're missing,
It's in the air we raise our fists in,
In the smiles we cast each other,
My sister, my brother.

About the time we gave up hoping,
We never find these locks still open,
Stumbling on stones unturned,
The hurt we feel, we all have earned.

Mountain Dew Anonymous - KJ-52
Well hello everybody,
Welcome to MDA, that’s Mountain Dew Anonymous, for those who have abuse problems with mountain dew. We have a new member today his name is KJ-52.
KJ why don’t you introduce yourself (Hi KJ).
My Name is KJ-52 and I’m addicted to Mountain dew.
Tell the people a little bit about what happened.

Ohh what am I gonna do,
I’m addicted to mountain Dew,
When I drink just one to two
These people say “what’s wrong with you man?”
I start acting like fool,
from all the caffeine and the sugar too.
I’m feeling like I aint got a clue.
And it’s just what I’m gonna say to you,

Uh gimme dat Mountain Dew,
Uh gimme dat Mountain Dew,
Uh gimme dat Mountain Dew,
I aint playin with you,
You better gimme my Mountain dew!


Well KJ I know that must be tough to talk about (it is, it’s hard)
But part of recovery is talking about how it starts,
Explain how this started.

Well it started while I was on tour,
I had to stay awake, I went to the store
Then I loaded up and I bought like four
And I just kept taking more and more

All of a sudden it happened to me,
Just for some reason I couldn’t fall asleep.
Maybe it was the sugar and the caffeine
Not sure, but I started to scream

(Repeat Chorus)

Well KJ I know that was painful to talk about, (it was painful, I’m sorry)
But you know you can over come this addiction.
(I can?)
You just have to admit that you have a problem.

I’ve got a problem I just can’t help it,
Somebody help I think I’m addicted,
Every day I gotta just have it,
I can’t help it it’s just a habit,
I’ve got a problem, I get it
I’m an addict I’ll admit it
And I promise I’m gonna quit it
Hey, that Mountain Dew over there, anybody gonna finish it?

KJ you need to put the mountain dew down, (‘couz I’m sayin’ if you aint gonna finish it)
KJ I, you need, back away from the Mountain Dew (I’ll, I’ll take it)

(repeat chorus)

Sorry I don’t now what came over me,
Uh, sorry

You didn’t have to hit me.

The Mahna Mahna Song - The Muppets
No lyrics required.
Current Music: None. Yeah, none. A post about music, and I'm not listening to anything.