Who now can stand up to the combine forces of the Bethany types when we now include the Paul-fiend? On that note, I would recommend wide-spread panic, disarray, and maybe some cheesecake. I like a da cheesecake. And chocolate. I want some chocolate too.
I... Feel LotR pantisms coming on... Just a few.
"Smoke rises from the mountain of doom, the hour grows late, and Gandalf the Grey rides to Isengard, seeking my pants"
"...Samwise Gamgee, have you been eavesdropping?... I ain't been dropping no pants, sir, honest."
"Can you see the pants?" (Extended TTT)
"It's mine... My own... My pants..."
<Coughs>
I'm horrible, I know.

At this point in the proceedings, I find it necessary to inform interested parties, that, indeed, this *is* a new post. Impressed? You should be. I took time out of my incredibly other-wise pointless surfing to make a meaningful post that will hopefully affect the lives of millions. And cure cancer. That might be a nice side effect too. So, thoughts on the election. Be very serious this year. It's quite necessary for the future of our country. That being said, if on election day I'm still undecided, there's a decent chance I'm writing in Colbert. The man has what it takes. Seriously. The guy is on T.V. What else is required?*
I'm still failing at the lulz. Time to turn it up a notch.
...
...
...
Okay, nevermind.
I blanked.






*This is not real advice. Droideka is not to be held accountable for people that actually listen to him and vote for Colbert.

Maybe this Summer, if you peoples that might someday pay attention to this again. As it is, you get random crap I give when I'm bored and have time. Aren't I amazing?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=igV5k31c1hE
That is too.

THE ARMY OF MINI-SNOWMEN IS COMING!!!

What are we waiting for, assembled in the forum?

The barbarians are due here today.

Why isn't anything happening in the senate?
Why do the senators sit there without legislating?

Because the barbarians are coming today.
What laws can the senators make now?
Once the barbarians are here, they'll do the legislating.

Why did our emperor get up so early,
and why is he sitting at the city's main gate
on his throne, in state, wearing the crown?

Because the barbarians are coming today
and the emperor is waiting to receive their leader.
He has even prepared a scroll to give him,
replete with titles, with imposing names.

Why have our two consuls and praetors come out today
wearing their embroidered, their scarlet togas?
Why have they put on bracelets with so many amethysts,
and rings sparkling with magnificent emeralds?
Why are they carrying elegant canes
beautifully worked in silver and gold?

Because the barbarians are coming today
and things like that dazzle the barbarians.

Why don't our distinguished orators come forward as usual
to make their speeches, say what they have to say?

Because the barbarians are coming today
and they're bored by rhetoric and public speaking.

Why this sudden restlessness, this confusion?
(How serious people's faces have become.)
Why are the streets and squares emptying so rapidly,
everyone going home so lost in thought?

Because night has fallen and the barbarians have not come.
And some who have just returned from the border say
there are no barbarians any longer.

And now, what's going to happen to us without barbarians?
They were, those people, a kind of solution.

(Email forward, one that was actually good)
 

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." -- Winston Churchill

 

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." -- Clarence Darrow

 

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." -- William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

 

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." -- Groucho Marx

 

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." -- Mark Twain

 

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." -- Oscar Wilde

 

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend... If you have one." -- George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill...followed by Churchill's response: "Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second, if there is one." -- Winston Churchill

 

"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." -- Stephen Bishop

 

"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." -- John Bright

 

"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." -- Irvin S. Cobb

 

"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others." -- Samuel Johnson

 

"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." -- Paul Keating

 

"He had delusions of adequacy." -- Walter Kerr

 

"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" -- Mark Twain

 

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." -- Mae West

 

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." --Oscar Wilde

 

Lady Astor once remarked to Winston Churchill at a Dinner Party, "Winston, if you were my husband, I would poison your coffee!" Winston replied, "Madam if I were your husband I would drink it!"

 

Lady Astor also once remarked to Winston Churchill at a Dinner Party, "Sir Winston, you're drunk!" To which, Winston replied, "Yes, Madam, I am. And you're ugly! But in the morning, I will be sober. And you will still be ugly!"

First, what time is it: Monday, November 26, 2007 9:12 P.M.
 About me...
 Full name: (Secret!)

 Nicknames: Jake, Jakers, Smeg (You guys know what it stands for), the
list could take up several good sized paragraphs. The stories behind
them could be a massive essay of some sort.

 Location: Now? Home. Earlier, on the planet Siria exchanging
pleasantries with Sirian warlords.

 School: Home.

 Mascot: Easy. The Droideka.

 Eye color: Brown

 Birthday: 9/9/90
 Siblings and their names/ages: Anna, 19, Sarah, 9 until tomorrow.

 Do you want to get married: Yeah, probably, assuming I ever find a
girl that could put up with me for more than a month.
 Night owl or early bird: Night Owl. Sleep evades me at every turn.

 I want to be: Dream of being: Video game designer, pro paintballer.
More likely: Computer programmer.
 I love: My friends, family, music, food, paintball, books, and
cereal. I hate to put God in these lists because to include Love
liked Zeke's answer)
 I miss: My friends. That's about it.

 I fear: Hurting someone close to me.
 I crave:  Right now, another brownie and some more milk.

 I wonder: If I'll ever get over not sleeping well

 I regret: ... I'm not sure if there is anything I do regret enough to put here.
 Smiled: About twenty minutes ago.

 Bought something: A few days ago. Mountain Dew.

 Danced: Several weeks ago.
 Cried: Hmmm... A few weeks ago. About the time I realized a couple of
depressed punk songs fit me all too well.
Had a nightmare: The last time I dreamed. I rarely do dream, and when
I do, it's generally a nightmare.

 Last book you read: I really don't remember. It was a few weeks ago.

 Last thing you had to drink: Milk


Do You...
 Smoke: Only when I'm on fire, which has happened before.

 Do drugs:  No. I've been offered drugs before, though.

 Sleep with stuffed animals: No.
 Have a boyfriend/girlfriend: No. Although, I've been asked 14 times
in one year before.

 Believe there is life on other planets: Not really.
 Read the newspaper: Comics, electronics stores ads, and sometimes the
occasional sports section, when I feel like seeing how Da' Bears did.

 Believe in miracles: Yeah.
Consider yourself tolerant of others?: Tolerant? I guess.

 Consider love a mistake: Not at all.

 Like the taste of alcohol: I've had some good wine, and a few other
things that tasted fair, but I'd have to taste more before I said for
sure.

 Drink: Occasionally. Get drunk? Never.
 Believe in magic: Well, not what one would call real magic. More like
satanism and whatnot. So no.
 Believe in God:  Yes. YPray: yes.

Go to church: Yes
Have any secrets: Of course, not really interesting ones, but they do
exist. You could ask me sometime and I could spend a couple hours
trying to figure out what they are, then tell you.
Have any pets: No, but we have a dog and a couple cats.
 Talk to strangers who instant message you: I think about 7 of the
people on my buddy lists I didn't know who they were at the time, so
yeah.
(Ethan's answer FTW!)
 Have any piercing: No. No. Although, I've been told I should get my
ear pierced by a few people, and join a rock band. :-P
 Most interested to see their response: Everyone, maybe?
at least for someone who has as many good friends as I have. (Again,
Ethan's answer)
 previous statement. (See above statement)

 You've known the least longest: Hmmm... Not sure.
 You can tell anything to: Meh. I could probably tell anything to Somm-1.
 Shyest: Ack. I'm not sure.
 Quietest: Ach. I'm not sure.
 Coolest: Hmmm... Everyone but Aaron.
 Guy: See above
 Girl: See above two places (Heh)
 Cutest:

 Girl: I have no intent of starting a war, sorry.
 Most outgoing: No idea.

 Most creative: People with imaginations (Meaning you people) make this hard.

 Annoying: Hmmm... Of people I know, in person, Somm-1 is probably the
most annoying. Although, it might be Aaron. I have to hang out with
him more to say for sure...
 Always there for you: Hmmm... Sommy, Ethan, MooKoo, Various other
people... Although, when I'm depressed, I tend to not talk to anyone
about it anyway, so

 Most blonde at heart: Aaron.
 One who'll have the most kids: No thanks.

One who'll have the least: See above.

 Who will be your maid of honor: What?

 Who'll be your best man: No idea.

 The one you're probably gonna end up marrying: <Pulls on collar>


 What is your favorite...
 Color: Blue, but if I have to wear it, blood red.
 Number: 17
 Sport:  Paintball

 Store: Actionvillage.com

 Place to hang out: With friends, almost anywhere
 Song: It changes. Hmmm... My favorite song at the moment is probably
"Amaranth" by Nightwish.

 Stuffed animal: Rabid wolf.

Possession: No idea..
 Radio Station: Meh. No idea.
 Kind of music:  Various kinds of rock and metal. And crunk rock.
Day of the Week: Meh.
Cookie: Something with chocolate.
 Video Game: BF II (Ethan has great taste)

Cereal: Honey Bunches of Oats. Though, the commercials could be better.
 Ice Cream: Chocolate.
 Magazine: Paintball 2 Xtremes (PB2X)
 Cartoon: Zits, Calvin and Hobbes, and Dilbert
 Candy: Chocolate something or other.
 Time of the day: Sunset. I prefer it dark.
 Girls perfume: No thanks, I prefer not to answer.
 Movie: LOTR
 TV show: Stargate SG-1
 Flower: Meh. I don't know.
 Drink:  Uh, give me that Mountain Dew, I ain't playin' wit' you, you
better gimme that Mountain Dew!
 Croutons or Bacon Bits: Croutons, because I look like a guy named crouton.
 Silver or Gold: Gold. It's shiny and yellow.

 Sunrise or Sunset: Sunset
 Coke or a fruit smoothie: Coke
 Sunshine or Rain: Clouds.
 Blondes or Brunettes: Meh. Do I care?

Thanksgiving or Forth of July: The Fourth. Stuff goes boom.
 Love songs or sad ballads: Sad ballads.

 Life or death: Life.

Also, if you read this, feel free to fill it out.

I am writing to inform you of a gross lack of decision making ability on your part. I, for example, an incredibly good child, and as such, would deserve such present as would be given to such a great kid. These items include: A Ford Mustang. A Corvette. A Harley-Davidson motorcycle. An Alienware computer.

If I receive this stuff by December 19 of this year, I won't sue you. Fork it over.

Apparently the previous post regarding things about myself were not up to certain people's standards, and I have been retagged.
Since three people have tagged me, I feel it unnecessary to list them all, or at all.

Here's things you may not already know about me.

1. Despite the fact that I'm doing NaNoWriMo, I've never written more than 750 words for anything. (RECORD SMASHING FOR THE WIN!)
2. I have actually fixed computers, monitors, and an XBOX by hitting them.
3. Ibuprofen, caffeine, and sugar have no effect on me.
4. If I'm not with friends, talking to friends (Online counts as well), or doing something such as play a video game (And sometimes they don't help), sport, or forums, I'm hardly ever happy (Although, not altogether unhappy). Also, on a similar note, Seeing my friends be happy helps me, and as such, I try to make them happy. Kind of like the whole bodyguard thing, but not. Also, it seems some people seem surprised by this. Would someone tell me why, please?
5. I've never lost a game of Risk, of any of the four game types I've played.
6. I may have an ego in a few ways (I rock at Battlefront II, Age of Empires, and certain physical activities (Meaning, of course, paintball, and the maneuvers that go with it), but in almost every other way, I suck. It's the truth.
7. Contrary to popular belief, I do NOT have imaginary friends.

If I tag people, it will be later. Yeah.

I was tagged in the benevolence of such a llama as the mental one.
Thusly, it would seem as I now must post seven things about me, and they're all true.
http://mllama.blogspot.com/2007/10/bloody-taggers.html

1. I'm 17 and still play with legos, like cartoons, and hate most of the stuff by Green Day.
5. (I believe the last one had four in it) I like getting away with things such as the above reason(s)
6. In the last year of my living in Alabama, I was asked out 14 times by 13 girls. After that, I don't see horrible pick-up lines the same.

That was 7. Happy now, Bob?

In other news, the fedora PWNs. It is the Jack Bauer of hats. There is no equal in hatness.
This is  most certainly true.

My theme songs:
Responsibility - MxPx
"I don't want this responsibility
And don't use me because I don't agree

Why lie, do or die?
Why lie, do or?

Responsibility? What's that?
Responsibility? not quite yet
Responsibility? What's that?
I don't want to think about it; we'd be better off without it

You think I'm so simplistic
I'm onto you and your tricks

I'm still young and I'd like to stay that way
'Cause growing up won't make everything okay
I'm still young and I'd like to stay that way
I've got a voice and I've got a lot to say"

Behind Closed Doors - Rise Against
" Chairs thrown and tables toppled,
Hands armed with broken bottles,
Standing no chance to win but,
We're not running, we're not running.

There's a point I think we're missing,
It's in the air we raise our fists in,
In the smiles we cast each other,
My sister, my brother.

About the time we gave up hoping,
We never find these locks still open,
Stumbling on stones unturned,
The hurt we feel, we all have earned."

Mountain Dew Anonymous - KJ-52
" Well hello everybody,
Welcome to MDA, that’s Mountain Dew Anonymous, for those who have abuse problems with mountain dew. We have a new member today his name is KJ-52.
KJ why don’t you introduce yourself (Hi KJ).
My Name is KJ-52 and I’m addicted to Mountain dew.
Tell the people a little bit about what happened.

Ohh what am I gonna do,
I’m addicted to mountain Dew,
When I drink just one to two
These people say “what’s wrong with you man?”
I start acting like fool,
from all the caffeine and the sugar too.
I’m feeling like I aint got a clue.
And it’s just what I’m gonna say to you,

(Chorus)
Uh gimme dat Mountain Dew,
Uh gimme dat Mountain Dew,
Uh gimme dat Mountain Dew,
I aint playin with you,
You better gimme my Mountain dew!

(Repeat)

Well KJ I know that must be tough to talk about (it is, it’s hard)
But part of recovery is talking about how it starts,
Explain how this started.

Well it started while I was on tour,
I had to stay awake, I went to the store
Then I loaded up and I bought like four
And I just kept taking more and more

All of a sudden it happened to me,
Just for some reason I couldn’t fall asleep.
Maybe it was the sugar and the caffeine
Not sure, but I started to scream

(Repeat Chorus)

Well KJ I know that was painful to talk about, (it was painful, I’m sorry)
But you know you can over come this addiction.
(I can?)
You just have to admit that you have a problem.

I’ve got a problem I just can’t help it,
Somebody help I think I’m addicted,
Every day I gotta just have it,
I can’t help it it’s just a habit,
I’ve got a problem, I get it
I’m an addict I’ll admit it
And I promise I’m gonna quit it
Hey, that Mountain Dew over there, anybody gonna finish it?

KJ you need to put the mountain dew down, (‘couz I’m sayin’ if you aint gonna finish it)
KJ I, you need, back away from the Mountain Dew (I’ll, I’ll take it)
KJ BACK AWAY FROM THE MOUNTAIN DEW NOW, MAN I AINT PLAYIN’ WITH YOU, MAN!! (all right)

(repeat chorus)

Sorry I don’t now what came over me,
Uh, sorry

You didn’t have to hit me."

The Mahna Mahna Song - The Muppets
No lyrics required.

Behold, me hearties, it be the great holiday we all love, TALK LIKE A PIRATE DAY!!! Aye, that it be, the ninjas run in fear and hopelessness, knowing their cause is lost. On this great day, me good men, we have the clear upper hand in the fight! YARR!!! Get me some grog, and handsomely, ye bilge rats! Ye be servin' under the Captain Dreadnaught Droideka today, ye snithering swabs! Brace the aft rudder, we're making port! Aye! And let the crew say: "Amen" <And the crew shouts it out> Aye, it is a good day to die. But we don't be dying today, me salty men! No, we're taking ninjas to Davy Jones' Locker, and give them a beating like they've ne'er had 'afore!

Pirates Rule

So yeah, my Sim has a net worth of something like 500,000 dollars. Hooray for rosebud! It's time that I tell you all something. I've been keeping this a secret for most of my life, and probably all of your existence of knowing me: I... can't... dance... Oh, wait, I seem to have forgotten the massive number of times that I've stated that  fact. Oops. Scratch most of this paragraph.

I'll restart.

Would someone hand me some peanuts? The spicy kind, in those little plastic tube-bag things. I want some now. And some Mountain Dew. I had nachos for lunch... Wonderful nachos...

Frozen Pepsi is seriously a gift from heaven. When it starts to unfreeze, the syrup does first, and that stuff is like Pepsi concentrate, which is totally awexome. This is most certainly true.
*And the people say amen*

Gah, I have a song stuck in my head...
I can't seem to just write down the facts...
I'm typing great, and very very fast...
I can't wake, curse those sleeping pills...
Please wake me this 'cause dream just kills!
Psycho Killer!
*French, I don't feel like looking up the correct spelling*
That song is totally Count Olaf's theme song.

Or something to that effect. With chicken and cheese... And a few frozen burritos...

Anywho, I guess it's been a while since I posted, so now I say I'll slap you all with fishes. It would be fun.
THE SPOKESMAN IS ME! Right? I mean, come on, why should I not be the spokesman? I have all that is needed! Great ideas! Vision! (Daydreams count, right?) TOOTHPICKS!!! It's time for new spokesmanship. This year, vote for Droideka. He wins.
This message sponsored by the campaign to make Droideka the spokesman. Steve Approves. I hate the library computer. Everything is blocked. Facebook, G-Talk, meebo, I'm surprised they didn't block Livejournal too. Will anyone help me cut them in half with a herring? A HERRING! Ding dong, the witch is dead, the witch is dead, ding dong, she lost her head she's DEAD!!! Yeah. That's right. No advertisement. No goat using a laptop. Est-ce que vous êtes moins intellegent que les vaches? I speak to thee, my goat friend. Wait, you're not my friend.

Anyone need some aspirin?

What the Saint of Saint Jude's Children hospital is saint of? And, oh yeah, his name is also before an artificial heart or something. What is he saint of? Lost Causes. WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WANTS TO GO THERE?!?!?!? I mean, seriously, what the heck is wrong with them? Isn't there a saint of the night watchmen or something? Something that doesn't imply that I'm doomed already? Not that I'm dying or anything...  I got a 27 on the ACT, my sister got a 29. That I could understand having St. Jude's name in front of it. "Saint Jude's testing facility" "Here you have no hope of beating your siblings score." Oh, and before I forget, can someone please give me a cheesecake? No one want to do so. No fair. "St. Jude's cheesecake factory" "We make 'em, but you'll never taste one!"
Of all the stupid things about which I could write a quick post to update before I fell a month behind, it had to be this. Not that I'm complaining (Your mom might be though). Oh, and another thing: TEXT BUBBLES ARE ANNOYING! Seriously, everyone in my game is going to have a voice. In three days I've gotten two done. Drawing people is pretty stupid too. The fact that I can't do it. I get bored and draw things like tanks and APCs... And futuristic fighter aircraft. Fun times.

I WIN!!!

From the early-in-production-by-yours-truly game Weasel Stomping Day: The Game (PC) (ESRB: Unrated).
"MWAHAHAHAHA!!! I stomp on your face!"
"I do believe you have weasel guts on your shoe."
"It's my game, live with it."
"This is the Easter Egg <Insert picture of an egg here>"
"Heh, dude, that's some crazy-crap monkey business type weasel stomping there."
Stay tuned. It's going to be hilarious. Like this StrongBad. Or something to that effect.

I think it is? What say you? What does your mom say? What does the goat in the banner ad to the right of this text box say? I think it is, so I shall endeavor to make thine person laugh.

Greetings. I am here today to discuss the health benefits of being a BIG! SHIRTLESS! CLAM! (I was asked to write about BIG! SHIRTLESS! CLAMS!, so this is what you get.)

In a recent scientific study, the benefits of being a big shirtless clams as compared to a shirtless guy at a football game were compared. The results were astounding. The clams were happier, got more done in their spare time, and made fewer rants in their blogs than the shirtless guys. This was not the most confusing portion, even considering the fact that the shirtless guys generally don't have blogs. Dude, you're getting a Dell! Oh, right, shirtless clams. Big ones. Back to the findings. It was also discovered that the big shirtless clams lived an average of 98% longer then their non big-shirtless counterparts. The shirtless football guys: -15%. So, if you're going to be a shirtless person, please, for your health, be a BIG SHIRTLESS CLAM. Do it for the children. And your local Lions club. That is all, thank you, and good night!

Why'd I stain my pants?
There's so much I've tried, but that grease just will not come out,
Shout and tide don't work!
Do you believe that my pants will ever look like new again?

I know the pizza's gone,
But grease of today, it won't go away

Turpentine!
Will you wipe away my stain? Make it gone?
Make them look brand new again?
Turpentine!
I know you'll kill my dog,
But my pants, they really hate this stain!

Yes my stain is gone!
And the thing that made it has fallen to the ground,
Now don't kill my dog,
Because if you did, it would really let me down.

I know the pizza's gone,
But grease of today, it won't go away

Turpentine!
Did you wipe away my stain? Make it gone?
Make them look brand new again?
Turpentine!
I know you killed my dog,
But my pants, they quite hated that stain!

Now you've killed my dog, but oh, my stain is very gone.
Remember that you helped
I think you've gone too far, my pants, well burned up like a star.
I liked those pants alot...


Turpentine!
Did you wipe away my stain? Make it gone?
Make them look brand new again?
Turpentine!
I know you killed my dog,
But my pants, they quite hated that stain!

Turpentine!
Did you wipe away my stain? Make it gone?
Make them look brand new again?
Turpentine!
I know you killed my dog,
But my pants, they quite hated that stain!

Turpentine...

Q: What's your opinion on furries?

A: MAN! You have no idea how annoying it is when people keep telling me I should shave. It's like: "Dude, you're furry, you should shave." I mean, I probably should, but why is it that people keep telling me I should? .<_< How do you even know that I need to shave? >_> Creepy. Almost as creepy as this banner ad that's showing right now. GOATS CAN NOT USE LAPTOPS! Grrr... That goat needs a shave. Why the heck is the goat wearing corrective eyewear? ... Where was I? Oh yes, shaving. Here's a list of cool people with beards: Captain Jack Sparrow. YOUR MOM! *Smirks* Adam Savage. My uncle. Egyptian Pharaohs. Like King Nebkheperure Tutankhamun (King Tut to you lesser people). *Aide whispers something into headset* Wait, you mean... No, you don't mean that. You couldn't. King Tut didn't have a beard? It's all a myth? Well that explains my young childhood. Now, will someone please give me a cheesecake? With chocolate?

Crocs are still evil.

P.S. Oh SNAP! I just lost THE GAME!

Q:  What is your opinion of Crocs?
P.S. The shoes, dude, not the reptiles.
Wanting to know badly,
The guy that doesn't have a name.

A: Well, my Guy that doesn't have a name, I guess you didn't notice the crochaters group that I founded. I hate those shoes, and I will hereby show why they have descended from a long line of evils, ones that include... *Takes a breath and looks around* Olives and raw, plain tomatoes. Let's look at some facts here: Crocs are ugly and make funny noises. Not to mention they have four letters in the name. O R C S. Yes. Orcs are also ugly and make funny noises. I do not believe this to be a coincidence. Not at all. Crocs are as evil as those little pies in the boxes... The fruit flavored ones... That don't actually taste like either pie or fruit. More like paint thinner mixed with strawberry syrup... And maybe a few bottles of dandruff shampoo. Crocs are EVIL!!! They should be wiped out! With super de-greaser! Alright enough rambling.

If you have any question you want answered, just ask it as a response to this. Or if you happen to know me or talk to me on my stealthed-out AIM, MSN, or Google Talk accounts you can ask me then.

DON'T DIE WHILE WEARING CROCS!!!

I am here, my friends and loyal readers, to warn you of a peril in the form of an old saying, and I'm sure you've heard it. "Birds of a feather flock together." I am here to warn you that this is nothing more than propaganda for pigeons. The phrase itself originated harmlessly in the times of the Ancient Greeks. Since, it has become a tool to the pigeons and their kind to gather more forces unto themselves. Verily, verily I say unto you, the pigeon menace is here! They sit around and contaminate things, they fly, they may look harmless, but watch out! Bike riders and walk-takers be warned! <Insert evidence here> It's the truth, I say! The phrase that was once harmless, has become a peril to the human race! It began in WWI when pigeons were used as messengers between tanks. They flew off to the side and scribbled their propaganda between the lines. The messages started off simple enough, harmless pranks to get the pigeons more feed, but they have since become evil... Phrases like "Don't poke the pigeons" They make me sick... BE WARNED! You may too have been moved to the love of pigeons, and the aid of their cause! They wish to cover your car! They want to dive-bomb you when you walk out of the grocery store! They want to STEAL YOUR PIZZA!!! Do not let them into your lives! Shun the pigeons! Get rid of their propaganda! Eat some turkey! Do you want to be the next one to fall victim of their horrible lies? What lies, might you ask? Their messages contained in the phrase that I choose not to say again are as follows: "Give me all of your cheesecake.", "Give me your fedoras." And the worst of all... "You look like me grandparents!" Yes. The messages are horrible, if you want to stop reading go ahead, walk away and be disturbed no more by the horrible sayings of the pigeons. For more examples: "You owe me buddy seven pesos. Pay up or we peck out our shoelaces!" "I can give you a headache like you wouldn't believe!" And another worst one of all: "I can find out where your server is and take out a cable or four!" Scared yet? No? You will be... You will be...